Story of my life

My best friend's girlfriend accused him of cheating - with me.

Granted, girlfriends always hate me. (I've heard this is a common problem with mixed sex friendships). I act like a guy most of the time and I generally think like one too. This being said, it's annoying when a girlfriend asks her boyfriend to stop hanging out with me because she feels threatened by me. First of all, if you don't trust him don't date him. (This goes for men too).

Right, you have insecurities and people have been known to cheat in the past. I couldn't care less. If you're with someone it's because you think they're better than everyone else. Let's face it, you're not going to stop eating out when the homecookin tastes like crap.

So, you establish a boyfriend. You trust him. You are allowed feelings of insecurity. You're a woman. It goes with the territory. Everyone has their image of what beauty is and it's rare to find someone who fits into their own ideal. Ok.

So lets get with the situation at hand. My best friend of over 4yrs. Life is not a romantic comedy - we are not going to miraculously realize we've been secretly in love with each other. It's been years, if it was gonna happen it would have.

I am not a secret friend and you sleep together every night.

Don't drive by his house at night and assume we're having sex because my car is there. Of all our friends, he & I are the only ones with cars. Think about it.

Also, don't send him a vague and angry text msg and then refuse to speak to him when he calls you to find out what the heck was wrong. Not only is he confused and worried, but the rest of us hanging out are there to witness you being an idiot. Men have this thing, called Pride, it's kind of a huge deal for them. If they're afraid of looking stupid for keeping you around after acting weird, possessive and crazy, they're less likely to keep you around. If it could be swept under the rug with no one the wiser, then you get a bonus point for being subtle (and, dare I say it? Reasonable).

Yes, I understand. I'm a girl that hangs out with your boyfriend a lot. Relationships are not perfect and he's a little hard to read. So talk to him. Let him know that you're not sure where you stand (even if it's retarded because you're his damn girlfriend, you should know he cares about you if he's willing to give up all other pussy for You). Don't act like crazy girlfriend. Don't make accusations. Don't jump to conclusions. You've heard the saying, when you assume you make an ass out of u and me. It's true. He'll appreciate you getting to the point logically instead of getting pissed. Your chosen course of actions leaves him figuring he's better off, now that he knows how you 'really are'.

The moral? Approach these things logically. Hell, approach Everything logically. Treat your partner with respect and you won't insult them to the point that they're pissed off and would prefer you out of the picture than deal with you. Consider how you'd feel if they didn't want you hanging out with your friend(s) because they didn't trust you- I'm sorry, because they felt threatened by the fact that you have a whole life that started before you two met. And ultimatums are Bad. "It's me or them" is a bad corner to color someone into; we're not talking about a gambling addiction here so don't treat it like one.